I felt oddly buoyant as I walked from Spanish toward the cafeteria, and it wasn't just because I was holding hands with the most perfect person on the planet, though that was certainly part of it.
Bull fucking shit. Bella being with Edward should not make her feel oddly buoyant because she’s always with Edward (the “most perfect person on the planet” natch) and yet she’s still the most whiny, unbouyant person on the planet.
And I’d argue against Edward being the most perfect person on the planet. I’d say that honor goes to Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz’s new baby. With genes like that the kid is going to be gorgeous.
Maybe it was the knowledge that my sentence was served and I was a free woman again.
I’d be willing to buy this; my only question is why this knowledge only causes buoyancy between Spanish class and lunch. She’s been a “free woman” since the night before, it’s hardly new info. So why is she only starting to feel so effervescent now? And if she’s been so happy since the night before, why does she feel the need to mention it now?
Or maybe it wasn't anything to do with me specifically. Maybe it was the atmosphere of freedom that hung over the entire campus. School was winding down, and, for the senior class especially, there was a perceptible thrill in the air.
Bella’s happy for a reason that isn’t all about her? Yeah, that’s not going to happen.
No, it must be my personal freedom that lightened me today.
Told ya
Ominous, rose-wreathed advertisements for this year's prom. The big dance was this coming weekend, but I had an ironclad promise from Edward that I would not be subjected to that again.
If you aren’t going and don’t want to go, why are the advertisements ominous? Are they written in blood?
Anyone else find it a little disconcerting that she had to make Edward not only promise but give her an “ironclad promise” just so he’d respect her wishes? What a douche.
Finally, how are these blood written advertisements wreathed with roses? Does she mean they have roses drawn on them? Because I’m picturing Xeroxed ads in the middle of a bunch of ornate Christmas wreaths. That’s a ridiculous mental image. Then again, all things described in this book make ridiculous mental images.
The ending of the school year did not give me the pleasure it seemed to give the other students. Actually, I felt nervous to the point of nausea whenever I thought of it. I tried to not think of it.
Why? She doesn’t explain. There are two big things that are happening to Bella after graduation- she is going to marry Edward and she’s going to become a vampire and desert her entire life. I can see why these things could make one feel sick, particularly the former, but no one is making her do either of them. I know that Edward has bargaining the engagement from her but seriously, if the thought of marrying him makes her physically ill, not only is there hope yet for her as a character but then she should not marry him. Nothing is worth binding yourself to another person for eternity against your will. No, not even sparkly marble perfection
If I'd allow it, she'd [Alice] love to dress me every day - perhaps several times a day - like some oversized three-dimensional paper doll.
Bella, come on. You aren’t even a little bit three-dimensional.
"I'll help you," I volunteered. "If you don't mind my awful handwriting."
You know, Bella’s self-deprecating wouldn’t be quite so annoying if she actually had any skills. Instead she sucks at everything up to and including walking, choosing men and being a believable character you don’t want to bitch slap.
"Really?" Angela asked, mild excitement lighting her always-gentle brown eyes. "I thought you said you were in for life.""I'm more surprised than you are. I was sure I would at least have finished high school before he set me free."
I’d be surprised too if this wasn’t clearly a published wish fulfillment fic. If my (hypothetical) daughter went off to Italy for three days without telling me I would ship her off to a Swiss convent faster than you can say “Stephenie Meyer is a hack.” And I’m Jewish.
"We'll celebrate this weekend, then." Alice's enthusiasm was impossible to repress."Sure," I said, hoping to placate her. I knew I wasn't going to do anything too outlandish; it would be safer to take it slow with Charlie. Give him a chance to appreciate how trustworthy and mature I was before I asked for any favors.
Trustworthy? Mature? This is the girl who ran off to Italy without informing her parents. That is a serious breach of trust that will take much more than handwriting invitations to Angela’s family to repair. In the real world, or even in a well-constructed novel, Bella would have to work for years in order to gain back Charlie’s trust. I know I’m beginning to sound like a broken record, but it’s a very relevant point here: teenagers should not run off to foreign countries across the Atlantic Ocean without consulting their parents. The very fact that I need to say that shows how much of a crazy fantasy world Bella lives in. And no, I’m not talking about how there are werewolves and vampires in this world.
Angela and Alice started talking about options; Ben joined the conversation, setting his comics aside. My attention drifted.
“Oh are you done talking about me? Then I’m gonna just tune you out. Let me know when you decide to get back to your pro-Bella rhetoric.”
I was surprised to find that the subject of my freedom was suddenly not as gratifying as it had been just a moment ago. While they discussed things to do in Port Angeles or maybe Hoquiam, I began to feel disgruntled.
Bella gets everything she wants and she’s still pissed off. Typical.
It didn't take long to determine where my restlessness stemmed from.
Meyer: Restlessness is not a synonym for disgruntled. They are two very different feelings.
Sure, I was free to go to anywhere I wanted - except La Push; free to do anything I wanted - except see Jacob.
I know I’m going to get tired of saying this but Edward is Bella’s boyfriend, not her dad. He doesn’t have the right to tell her where she may go and who she may see.
Edward was quiet, playing absentmindedly with a strand of my hair.
They are not cuddling. They are sitting in a crowded cafeteria, presumably in those uncomfortable metal and hard plastic contraptions that schools claim are chairs. So he’s actually reaching for her hair and playing with it. Can anyone envision a way to do this in these circumstances that isn’t totally awkward? It’s even weirder that he does it out of habit.
I waited anxiously for a chance to ask Edward what Alice had seen in her vision, but the afternoon passed without one minute of alone time.It felt odd to me, almost deliberate.
Normally I’d snark about Bella’s uber-intuitiveness, but they are so codependent that one of them willingly spending three hours away from the other is odd.
This reminds me of something I forgot to mention in the first chapter- why didn’t Edward just sneak into her room during the three prohibited hours?
I trailed behind, letting Edward tow me along.
Bella’s walking two paces behind Edward. Shocking. I am weirded out about him towing her along. That sounds like he is holding her hand and deliberately walking too fast.
"I know a few things - I could take a look, if you like," Edward offered. "Just let me drop Alice and Bella at home."Mike and I both stared at Edward with our mouths hanging open.
For most girls, their boyfriend doing a favor for her friend that requires no effort on their part is not something that shocks them to the point that their jaw physically drops.
"You're really not that good a mechanic, Edward.”
But…but…but, he’s Edward! He’s the most perfect person on the planet!
Though I suppose, for Mike's car, you'll do.
Wow, just wow. Mike is so repugnant that even his car isn’t worthy of the best the Cullens can bestow upon it.
And speaking of Italy and sports cars that I stole there, you still owe me a yellow Porsche. I don't know that I want to wait for Christmas. . . ."
So buy it yourself, Alice you selfish idiot!
I waited, wondering if he would bring it up himself. He didn't, and this made me tense. What had Alice seen today at lunch? Something he didn't want to tell me, and I tried to think of a reason why he would keep secrets. Maybe it would be better to prepare myself before I asked. I didn't want to freak out and have him think I couldn't handle it, whatever it was.
When the info is later presented to her we discover that she can’t in fact handle it. Because she is a weak, pathetic waste of space.
"Do you suppose I'm allowed inside again?"
What does he mean “again”? The last chapter ended with the two of them having an “I-love-you-more-no-I-love-you-more” contest in her kitchen. We also know that she’s been having him over every night for months with no argument from Charlie. So why is he wondering if he’s allowed to go in again as if there had at some time been a point where Charlie forbade his entrance into the house?
But I was sure Charlie was going to turn sulky fast when he got home and found Edward here. Maybe I should make something extra-special for dinner.
I’ve long been a subscriber to the “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” philosophy and yet this line still pisses me off. I guess because I use my sweets for good things- wooing a boy and giving him special presents. I’ve used cupcakes as peace offerings and for apologies, but this line has such a nineteen-fifties housewifely vibe that it makes me twitchy.
Inside, I headed up the stairs, and Edward followed. He lounged on my bed and gazed out the window, seeming oblivious to my edginess.
Wait, isn’t Charlie supposed to be unfairly restrictive? Even the lenient parents of girls that I know don’t let them have boys in their rooms, let alone on their beds. My mother won’t even let me have my friend Spencer upstairs, despite the fact that he is in his own words “a flaming homosexual.”
I looked up, intending to make a sarcastic remark, but his face was closer than I'd expected. His golden eyes were smoldering, just inches away, and his breath was cool against my open lips. I could taste his scent on my tongue.I couldn't remember the witty response I'd been about to make. I couldn't remember my name.
Seriously Bella? Seriously? You’ve been dating for over a year, he shouldn’t be that overpowering.
If I had my way, I would spend the majority of my time kissing Edward.
As you have no interests or hobbies or people in your life who aren’t Edward I have no problem believing that.
There wasn't anything I'd experienced in my life that compared to the feeling of his cool lips, marble hard but always so gentle, moving with mine.
I just don’t understand why kissing a rock is supposed to be appealing. When I kiss a guy I like feeling the warmth of his lips and skin and having his lips conform around mine. If Edward is hard as marble than that sexy feeling of a guy’s mouth giving into yours is not possible. Go find the nearest rock and kiss it. Are you turned on right now? Didn’t think so.
I didn't often get my way.
That’s because your boyfriend is a controlling asshat.
So it surprised me a little when his fingers braided themselves into my hair
Braided? Really? That sounds excruciating. This figurative verb may have worked if it wasn’t paired with the literal noun that verb is most often associated with.
I wished I was stronger - strong enough to keep him prisoner here
If you haven’t noticed yet, these two are really into bondage and S&M.
Even through his sweater, his skin was cold enough to make me shiver - it was a shiver of pleasure, of happiness
If it is a shiver of pleasure and happiness why is it caused by coldness?
I scanned through Renée's e-mail, shaking my head now and then at some of the dippier things she'd done.
If Renée is such a dingbat, how did she manage to raise Bella by herself? I mean, when Bella was an infant and young child, before she matured enough to take care of her mom. Or is Bella so super special she could take care of her mother when she was still in diapers? Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Bella was so super special she was potty trained at two weeks old.
I was just as entertained and horrified as the first time I'd read this. It was so like my mother to forget exactly how paralyzed she was by heights until she was already strapped to a parachute and a dive instructor. I felt a little frustrated with Phil, her husband of almost two years, for allowing that one.
He allowed that one because he, unlike you and Edward, realizes that one’s significant other is a separate entity from oneself and completely capable of making their own decisions. Particularly when said significant other is a grown ass woman.
I would have taken better care of her. I knew her so much better.You have to let them go their own way eventually, I reminded myself. You have to let them have their own life. . . .I'd spent most of my life taking care of Renée, patiently guiding her away from her craziest plans, good-naturedly enduring the ones I couldn't talk her out of. I'd always been indulgent with my mom, amused by her, even a little condescending to her. I saw her cornucopia of mistakes and laughed privately to myself.
What. A. Bitch. Does Meyer, as a mother, really have no problem creating a teenage character who openly says she’s condescending to her mother and laughs about her behind her back?
Scatterbrained Renée.
Firstly, stop referring to your mother by her first name. In my mind my parents are still “mom” and “dad.” Does anyone else refer to their parents by their first name in their thoughts?
Secondly, stop treating your mother like a four year old. I’d tell you it was condescending but you’ve already acknowledged that and it doesn’t bother you. So I’ll just call it obnoxious and be done with it.
I was a very different person from my mother. Someone thoughtful and cautious. The responsible one, the grown-up.
You are also a pathological liar
That's how I saw myself. That was the person I knew.
Alright fine, you aren’t a pathological liar. You’re just pathologically delusional. I would explain how Bella is not as she portrays herself but she does it for me by telling me what her “silly” “scatterbrained” “flighty” mother says:
Smart people took marriage seriously. Mature people went to college and started careers
They also don’t whine nearly as much as Bella does.
She knew I would never be as thoughtless and goofy and small-town as she'd been. . . .
I can never decide if I’m from a small town or not. I grew up in a suburb only a few miles away from Philadelphia, however the Jewish community in my suburb is very close knit and there is a small town, almost Star’s Hollow-esque vibe to it. But even if I grew up in the heart of London, Tokyo or even the bustling metropolis of Phoenix, Arizona this line would piss me off.
Jacob is fine, I guess. I don't see him much; he spends most of his time with a pack of his friends down at La Push these days.
Oh. I see what you did there.
I didn't realize that Edward was standing silently behind me again until after I'd turned off the computer and shoved away from the desk.
I knew I hated Edward. People standing behind me while I’m on the computer and/or reading over my shoulder in any context is my biggest pet peeve. My family will tell you that I yell at them whenever they go to get something from the cabinet above the kitchen computer.
Suddenly, he was fanning himself with a stiff rectangle of paper.
Well there is no way this can be relevant. No way at all. And why would he need to fan himself? Isn’t he ice cold?
I didn't answer, for fear my voice would shake. My disastrous eighteenth birthday - with all its far-reaching consequences - wasn't something I cared to remember,
Edward is back; they are engaged. Is she really so weak and/or insecure that even the most blasé of mentions to the day that caused him to temporarily break up with her causes an actual physical reaction in her?
“We have no plans this weekend, as you refuse to go to the prom with me.”
Wow, way to be a jackass Edward. Anyone who thinks Edward’s character would actually want to go to a high school prom raise your right hand. Anyone who thinks that Meyer uses this line to make it so the reader feels Bella in some way owes Edward something in exchange for not going to prom raise your middle finger.
Why not celebrate your freedom this way?"I gasped. "By going to Florida?"
Yes, Edward and Bella should go on a romantic weekend vacation to The Sunshine State where there is never any sun. Oh, wait… Well, maybe they are really into body glitter down there?
"Charlie can't keep you from visiting your mother. She still has primary custody.""Nobody has custody of me. I'm an adult."He flashed a brilliant smile. "Exactly."
Legal adult and actual adult are two very, very different things. Legally at eighteen you can vote, enlist in the army and go to jail for robbing a liquor store. But in actuality, at eighteen most teenagers are still, well, teenagers. By which I mean they are careless, self-absorbed and without enough common sense to shake a stick at. You know, the kind of people who would to Italy while their father is at his best friend’s funeral without leaving a note and not returning or giving him any word of their whereabouts for three days. Even though the last time you disappeared suddenly on him you almost died.
But the idea of seeing my mother now, not weeks from now, was hard to resist. It had been so long since I'd seen Renée. And even longer since I'd seen her under pleasant circumstances. The last time I'd been with her in Phoenix, I'd spent the whole time in a hospital bed. The last time she'd come here, I'd been more or less catatonic. Not exactly the best memories to leave her with.And maybe, if she saw how happy I was with Edward, she would tell Charlie to ease up.
Nothing is worthwhile unless it benefits you and your boyfriend’s relationship; right, teenage girls in Twilight’s primary demographic?
This kind of behavior was unlike him. He was always so impossibly selfless
Was this entire series written on opposite day?
"The outside world holds no interest for me without you."I rolled my eyes at the hyperbole.
Edward having no interest in anything but Bella is a hyperbole. This comes from the same chapter where Bella claimed Edward was the most perfect person on the planet, that she wishes she could spend most of her time kissing his stony self and that Edward is always impossibly selfless. But the idea that either of them might be a bit codependent is over the top.
He groaned. "Never mind. We'll talk about it later.""There's nothing left to talk about."He shrugged.
An ex-boyfriend used to do this, continuing an argument or conversation after I’ve made it clear I don’t want to talk about it. After I stood up in a restaurant and left after he did it one too many times he learned his lesson.
What did Alice see today at lunch?"…“She's been seeing Jasper in a strange place, somewhere in the southwest, she thinks, near his former . . . family. But he has no conscious intentions to go back." He sighed. "It's got her worried."
Bella buys this. Seriously, she thinks there is a possibility that something supernatural is going on and it doesn’t involve her. Because she is a dingbat.
But of course it made sense that Alice would be watching out for Jasper's future. He was her soul mate, her true other half, though they weren't as flamboyant about their relationship as Rosalie and Emmett were.
I like Rosalie and Emmett. Do you know why? Other than because for the majority of the series Rosalie can’t stand Bella and for the entire series Emmett sees Bella as a joke, it’s because they AREN’T flamboyant. They seem okay with just living their lives and doing what they enjoy without making a big fuss. It’s Alice who is flamboyant. Has Meyer even read her own books?
I needed therapy.
Finally, something Bella and I can agree on!
I slogged laboriously through my calculus until I decided it was time to fix Charlie's dinner.
Bella would make the most perfect Home Economics Barbie, wouldn’t she? Math is tough!
I made stroganoff from Grandma Swan's recipe, because I was sucking up. It wasn't one of my favorites, but it would please Charlie.
Why is Bella trying to soften up Charlie? It’s not because she is going to ask for permission to go to Florida. She has no intention of going this weekend and she decided to make a special meal for Charlie before the subject was brought up. Is she making one of Charlie’s favorite meals to suck up to him because Edward is there? If so let me borrow a question from the Passover Seder: Why is this night different from all other nights?
Edward excused himself from eating with us, as usual. The sound of the nightly news drifted from the front room, but I doubted Edward was really watching.
Let’s recap this. Edward goes over to his girlfriend’s house for dinner nearly every night. But instead of eating with them, he goes into the other room and watches TV. And we are still supposed to believe that Edward is “flawlessly polite” to Charlie even though Charlie doesn’t deserve it? I don’t understand how this is seen as polite and how we are supposed to side with Bella and think Charlie has no reason to dislike Edward.
After forcing down three helpings, Charlie kicked his feet up on the spare chair
“Forcing?” Is that really the word you wanted to use? Isn’t Bella supposed to be a great chef?
and folded his hands contentedly across his distended stomach.
Distended stomach? Really? Really? Distended? Really? That's the word you want to use? Distended?
I knew I wouldn't be allowed to hit a werewolf party, even with parental supervision.
This pisses me off more than I care to say
I wondered if Edward would have a problem with Charlie hanging out in La Push.
Don’t be ridiculous, Bella. Charlie’s only point in life was to knock up Renée with the whiniest sperm in existence and then serve as an antagonist so Meyer can pretend that she’s written a tale of star-crossed lovers on par with Romeo and Juliet.
Charlie sighed and gave up for the moment, though I imagined he would revisit the subject when we were alone again. He heaved himself to his feet and headed for the TV, just like every other night.
There is a lot to be said about tone here. In this paragraph Charlie going to watch TV after dinner is exasperated. Like men, you know? But Edward did the exact same thing a couple pages back and there was no issue.
"Charlie," Edward said in a conversational tone.Charlie stopped in the middle of his little kitchen. "Yeah?""Did Bella ever tell you that my parents gave her airplane tickets on her last birthday, so that she could visit Renée?"
Edward, which is it? Is Bella is an adult who can do what she pleases or is she a child whose head you can go over and talk to her parents when you think she’s being foolish? Because you can only have one.
Charlie thought for a minute. "It's probably a good idea for you to visit your mom, Bella. She'd love that. I'm surprised you didn't say anything about this, though.""I forgot," I admitted.
I found this a bit weird. You would think that after a teenage girl is dumped for the first time the one person she’d want to see would be her mom. And going away from Forks would be an added bonus. But logic doesn’t work in the face of comatose people and hacks like Meyer.
"I noticed that you said they're about to expire, Edward," Charlie went on. "How many tickets did your parents give her?""Just one for her . . . and one for me."The plate I dropped this time landed in the sink, so it didn't make as much noise. I could easily hear the sharp huff as my father exhaled. The blood rushed into my face, fueled by irritation and chagrin. Why was Edward doing this? I glared at the bubbles in the sink, panicking.
What did the bubbles ever do to you? And she said chagrin. Take a shot. Actually, don’t. If we turn this into a drinking game we’ll all die of liver failure and alcohol poisoning.
"That's out of the question!" Charlie was abruptly in a rage, shouting the words.
Why is this being portrayed as unreasonable? Charlie is a concerned parent who doesn’t want his teenage daughter going on a romantic vacay with her boyfriend.
Charlie ignored him. "You're not going anywhere with him, young lady!" he yelled. I spun around and he was jabbing a finger at me.Anger pulsed through me automatically, an instinctive reaction to his tone."I'm not a child, Dad.
You are eighteen. You are still a child. As I said earlier, legal adult and actual adult are two very different things.
"This is my house - you follow my rules!"My glare turned icy. "If that's how you want it. Do you want me to move out tonight? Or can I have a few days to pack?"
You bitch. You fucking, evil, selfish, sociopathic bitch.
"I'll do my time without complaining when I've done something wrong, Dad, but I'm not going to put up with your prejudices."
Liar
“Now, I know that you know that I have every right to see Mom for the weekend. You can't honestly tell me you'd object to the plan if I was going with Alice or Angela.""Girls," he grunted, with a nod.
Once again Charlie is totally right and I love him for it.
"It's not like I'm headed off to Vegas to be a showgirl or anything.
Showgirl? I don’t think that’s the profession most fathers worry about. I believe the word you are looking for is “stripper.”
"Are you implying something about Mom's ability to look after me?"
No, but you flat out said the exact same thing only ten pages ago. There’s that amnesia again.
“You better hope I don’t mention this to her,” I said.
Bella has clearly learned emotional blackmail from the best.
[Edward] nodded. "But, clearly, you were too much of a coward to deal with Charlie, so I interceded on your behalf."
That is so not your place!
"I told you I didn't want to fight with Charlie.""Nobody said that you had to."
You’re a mind reader Edward. Don’t act like you didn’t know exactly what would happen once the topic was brought up.
I glowered at him. "I can't help myself when he gets all bossy like that - my natural teenage instincts overpower me."
What happened to you being super mature and wise centuries beyond your years?
“Does this sudden urge to see Florida have anything to do with the party at Billy’s place?”His jaw flexed. "Nothing at all. It wouldn't matter if you were here or on the other side of the world, you still wouldn't be going [to Billy’s party]."It was just like with Charlie before - just like being treated as a misbehaving child.
Yeah, but here’s the difference, Bellectra: you are Charlie’s misbehaving child; he has every right to exert his authority over you.
He laughed and kissed the top of my head.
Does any girl actually find it sexy when a guy does that? It’s sweet when it’s your grandpa or great-uncle. But when someone your age, or someone who acts your age and is masquerading as your age, kisses you on the top of your head it feels kind of condescending. Or is that just me?
"Could you come in here, Bella?" Charlie called, sinking that plan.My feet dragged as I took the five necessary steps.
Five whole steps! How terribly awful for you!
Edward and Alice playing chess was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen. They'd sat there nearly motionless, staring at the board, while Alice foresaw the moves he would make and he picked the moves she would make in return out of her head. They played most of the game in their minds; I think they'd each moved two pawns when Alice suddenly flicked her king over and surrendered. It took all of three minutes.
So, which is it? Does Alice have visions so accurate she can predict mundane events like Edward’s next chess move? Or are they shaky and unreliable and couldn’t predict that James would trick Bella into believing her mother was captured? You can’t have it both ways.
Charlie hit the mute button - an unusual action.
Yes, we get it. All men love sports and watch TV all day. Don’t strain yourself for a second dimension to your characters, Stephiepoo.
“Mom beat you to the punch [by having the sex talk with me] about ten years ago. You're off the hook."
Who has the sex talk with an eight year old and makes it thorough enough that they’ll never need a refresher course? Maybe Renée is a bad mom.
This was beyond the seventh circle of Hades
That’s not hard to believe as Hades doesn’t have any circles. That’s Hell. They aren’t the same thing. Hades is the entire underworld, including the Elysian Fields where the good people go. And you are not going to make the cut into the Elysian Fields.
I laughed awkwardly. "Maybe the times have, but Edward is very old-fashioned. You have nothing to worry about."
I’ve had issues with this idea before that Edward is the product of the time he was born. But he isn’t Austin Powers. He didn’t fall asleep in 1918 and wake up in 2005. He’s been alive for all of it. Therefore he should be more progressive than the average guy. Edward lived through three waves of feminism. He was born in a time when women weren’t even allowed to vote. He’s seen them gain that right, and then slowly gain more and more. Getting to keep their children and property after a divorce, have a job, not have to worry about being fired for getting pregnant, being allowed to become doctors and CEOs instead of nurses and secretaries and fight for equal pay for equal work. With all that in mind he should know how important it is for women to have these basic rights and respect Bella because of it. He was in college during the sixties for chrissakes!
"Ugh!" I groaned. "I really wish you were not forcing me to say this out loud, Dad. Really. But . . . I am a . . . virgin
Yeah, because no girl has ever lied and told their dad they were a virgin. Oh wait…
"I just wanted to know how the balance thing is coming along.""Oh. Good, I guess. I made plans with Angela today. I'm going to help her with her graduation announcements. Just us girls."
Bella, two hours of your life with someone other than Edward does not a balance make.
"Keep trying [to make time for Jacob], Bella. I know you'll do the right thing. You're a good person."
Charlie, have you met your daughter?
Nice. So if I didn't figure out some way to make things right with Jacob, then I was a bad person? That was below the belt.
No, that is not what he said. Stop being so sensitive/looking for a reason to hate Charlie.
Edward was long gone and he wouldn't be back until Charlie was asleep - he was probably out hunting or something to pass the time
Wait, so Edward’s systematic destroying of the Olympic Pieces ecosystem is not just because he needs to eat, it’s because sometimes he’s bored?
I could call Angela, I supposed.But suddenly I knew that it wasn't Angela that I wanted to talk to. That I needed to talk to.
Because humans are useless.
I stood there weighing the pros against the cons - doing the right thing by Jacob, seeing my closest friend again, being a good person, versus making Edward furious with me
Here are the choices: Behind door number one we have “being a good person” and behind door number two we have “making your boyfriend mad” and somehow this is a difficult decision to make.
Ten minutes maybe.
The fact that it took you that long to decide makes it clear that option one has been eliminated. Even if you did go, you would still be a horrible human being.
Edward was only concerned about my safety, and I knew that there was really no problem on that count.
Something that is a problem: Edward is your boyfriend and not allowed to have any say on who you may and may not talk to.
It was past my curfew, but would Charlie really care about that when Edward wasn't involved?
No, he won’t care. Not necessarily because Edward is not involved, but because you are Bella Freaking Swan and the rules don’t apply to you.
Like any fugitive, I couldn't help looking over my shoulder a few times while I jogged to my truck, but the night was so black that there really was no point.
Yes, in the land of Twilight disobeying Edward is akin to being on the run from the law. The actual law, I mean.
My eyes were just beginning to adjust as I shoved my keys in the ignition. I twisted them hard to the left, but instead of roaring deafeningly to life, the engine just clicked. I tried it again with the same results.
This could be because most cars start by turning the key to the right…
And then a small motion in my peripheral vision made me jump."Gah!" I gasped in shock when I saw that I was not alone in the cab.
Does this sound like the script of every crappy horror movie ever, or is it just me?
Also, who says “Gah!”?
Edward sat very still, a faint bright spot in the darkness, only his hands moving as he turned a mysterious black object around and around. He stared at the object as he spoke.
Bella made the decision to go see Jacob maybe two minutes ago, tops. Alice can’t see the future until it is decided. Edward was out hunting when Bella made the decision. Most predators stay away from populated areas so in order for him to find suitable prey he’d have to be at least five miles away from Bella’s house. Let’s say Alice had the vision right when Bella made her decision to see Jacob. We know from past experience that that takes about 15 seconds. Then she called him and relayed the message. That had to be at least another 15 seconds. Taking out the engine of her car efficiently enough as to not ruin it and then breaking into it and settling into the front seat had to take at least a minute. So Edward can run five miles in under 30 seconds. That’s a speed of about 600 miles per hour. Yeah, that’s believable and totally complies with the laws of physics.
Alice! Damn. I’d forgotten to account for her in my plans. He must have her watching me.
Her boyfriend has her under twenty-four hour surveillance.
Carlisle theorizes that it’s because their lives are so ruled by their transformations. It’s more of an involuntary reaction than a decision.
But how about when they are humans? They aren’t ruled by their transformations then are they?
In that instant when they shift from one form to the other, they don’t really even exist
I always sucked at all forms of science but I remember this much: matter can neither be made nor destroyed, only transformed. So there’s a scientific fallacy to that.
There is also a plot hole to it in that we see them transform. They don’t disappear as a human and reappear as a wolf-horse. And if they transform instead of disappearing and reappearing it makes no sense that they would not exist because they are clearly right there.
And finally, so what if they don’t exist in that moment? What about all the other moments? Why can’t Alice see them then?
“I’ll put your car back together in time for school, in case you’d like to drive yourself,” he assured me.
If you are reading this I can assume you already know this part. There is literally nothing else I can add to that conversation. Edward destroyed Bella’s property. This is not okay. This is never okay. What I do want to add is, “Edward, I don’t think you should be reassuring her about when you will fix her car, but rather that fact that it will need repairing in the first place.”
With my lips mashed together, I retrieved my keys and stiffly climbed out of the truck.
Not one word. Bella doesn’t say anything to him regarding this incident. Not even a “hey, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t destroy my property, so do you mind asking me next time?” She more or less just accepts that her boyfriend has given himself the right to destroy her belongings because she is doing something he doesn’t agree with.
“Shut your window if you want me to stay away tonight. I’ll understand.” He whispered softly
No, Edward, I don’t think you understand anything at all, least of all what it means to be a good boyfriend and human being (even if you are an undead human being)
I stared at the shivering black glass for a long moment, until it was still. Then I sighed, and opened the window as wide as it would go.
You pathetic, codependent little girl.
1 comments:
Wait... 'husband'? Wasn't Phil Renee's boyfriend in Twilight?
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