Meyer and the Desire for Effortless Parenting

Meyer on Parenting

I kinda think Meyer is anti-child. Or anti-parenting. Or maybe anti-normal kids. A lot can be said towards the pedophilic aspect of Jacob/Renesmee and Claire/Quil. But that’s not what I want to talk about today. I want to talk about Esme. 

Now, Esme was so depressed about miscarrying that she threw herself off a cliff, right? And afterwards she was "healed" or something by playing mother to Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper and Edward. Esme is happy about this, fulfilled in her wish for children.

But, what mother-like activities does Esme do? She doesn't need to raise her "kids" as they are completely self-sufficient. She doesn't have to cook because they don't need to eat. She doesn't help her kids with homework because they are super-smart and know all their school subjects back and forth and can kick their teachers’ asses in any subject with their hands tied behind their backs. So, what is her role as a mother? It doesn't seem like she has one except to fill the title of mom. Her job is easy. She's kind. That makes her the mother. This is similar to Bella and Nessie, Esme gets all the pleasure and pride of parenting without having to actually parent.

Also, this seems to suggest that the best part of parenthood is when the kids are self-sufficient teenagers. Esme has little to no remorse over never actually getting to raise a baby. As I said, she has the perfect mothering situation in not having to mother.

Moreover, ask any parent of grown children what the hardest part is and nine times out of ten the response will be teenagers. Esme is "raising" six teenagers and yet her kids are polite, smart and respectful. There are no slammed doors, no screaming matches, no breaking curfew or sneaking girls/boys up to their room. None of the Cullen kids have ever shimmied down a drainpipe to go to a wild party their parents forbade them from going to. Rosalie has never hopped on the back of a motorcycle belonging to a boy that Carlisle disapproved of. Alice has never maxed out her parents' credit cards on frivolous things because they have infinite amounts of money. Even little things like Rosalie and Alice squabbling because one of them borrowed the other's shirt without permission are a non-issue. This is obviously a parent's dream of what raising a teenager is like.

For instance, I'm not going to deny that I am rather attractive. I’m not going to call myself Rosalie levels of hotness, but I’m definitely pretty. And I can tell you the second I turned thirteen my dad was ready to take a baseball bat to any boy who so much as looked at me. Now, considering that Rosalie is the most beautiful being EVAH most parents would have this fear times ten. But, instead Rosalie is committed to a nice boy and has no interest in any other. Problem solved. No parental anxiety whatsoever, how great is that?

In my opinion and the opinion of many parents I've spoken to the most rewarding part of parenthood is seeing how your child turns out, taking pride in their accomplishments. This can be as commonplace as a baby taking their first steps or a kid graduating from high school to watching them raise their own kids or follow their passion and succeed in the field of their choice. This pride comes from the fact that their parents helped them get there. From soothing the baby whenever he falls on his ass trying to walk, helping your kid with their calculus homework, going to your six year olds piano recital and clapping like crazy when they complete a wobbly rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star or holding your teenage daughter when her boyfriend breaks up with her and assuring her that one day there will be a man who will love and appreciate her like she deserves, parents should love, support and encourage their children to reach their full potential. But Esme and Carlisle never do this. Sure, they are proud when the kids graduate high school for the forty-eighth time or when Edward plays the complete works of Beethoven on the piano blindfolded, but they should feel no sense of accomplishment in this as they didn't help.

Therefore, realistically Carlisle and Esme should not find parenting rewarding. After all, no pain, no gain, right? Without four am feedings you'll never appreciate the first time a baby sleeps through the night. Without having a child put any effort in their schoolwork there is no pride when they graduate with straight A's.

And yet, this type of parenting, the clear skies, sunshine and happiness parenting is apparently the way it should be. That definitely speaks to Meyer's sense of dismay in parenthood. She has three children. One can assume they are not perfect, as no real child is. I’m sure Meyer has spent many a sleepless night trying to get a baby to sleep. I’m sure she’s been at the end of her tether a thousand times and wondered why she was crazy enough to ever have kids. I’m not saying she hates or resents her children. I am sure she loves them very much. But throughout her books everything is so easy- especially parenting. I’m going to guess that Meyer would trade in helping her children grow with easy, hands-off parenting any day of the week. This doesn’t make her a bad mother, just a frustrated one who may not appreciate the gifts that she has in three healthy children who she can love and support as she watches them grow. And that is a damn shame.